We Are Nashville?

Thx Jay for this great commentary: the character of a city is not found in how it responds to a disaster in the first week, but rather what it is doing in week 6 and 7. http://bit.ly/cfKJt8

Things to Ponder

A friend's facebook status had this quote on it:

Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of 'crackpot' than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost. I am an unapologetic individual.

The philosophic side of me completely agrees!

do this...but not that (again)

i felt the need to write a "part 2" to my recent post about rituals. it wasn't quite complete, my thoughts not completely hashed out. i've received responses from my friends josh and jim , and i thank them for their thoughts.

in my other post, i came across as if i am totally against rituals, and that i think they are useless. i actually feel the opposite. i have quite often witnessed people using ritual to enhance their life, be it spiritually or otherwise. and i think that's the difference, if it's used meaningfully or not. when a ritual is used with a sense of sacredness, there is an inherent beauty to it. it can give that reminder, that it's not just about us, it's about the people & things that have gone before us...and will come after us. it gives that sense of place and purpose. along with that comes humility. i think of meditation, buddhist mantras and the 5 pillars of islam as some of these that can be used in this way.

on the other side of the coin is what i typically think of when i hear "ritual". i think of people of faith doing something only out of a sense of obligation, habit and practically without thought. the way i've experienced going to church on sundays, reading the bible, praying, etc within the christian context. it has often felt like if these (and others) are not done, then god's gonna get getcha and god won't love you anymore. as if you have to earn god's love. this is contradictory to what is commonly taught that "god is love" and god's love is unconditional. when ritual is done this way, it loses the sense of connectedness and purpose that the ritual exists to create in the 1st place.

do this, do that...but not that

i recently showcased my penchant for being on top of the most recent trends by reading william p. young's book "the shack". yes, i know. it came out well over a year ago and the buzz has all but died on it. that's why i was being sarcastic.

while it is not the most well-written book, it does make some great points about religion, our relationship with our creator, faith, and a whole host of other issues. kudos to william young for making his portrayal of god in the novel an african-american woman and the holy spirit an asian. i've never been able to relate to the traditional pictures of god or jesus. you know, like these:

while there is nothing inherently wrong with these images, it bothers me that these are the default images. the image of god shows an angry one, while the image of jesus shows someone who is emotionless and staring off in space. apathetic. these are not qualities i admire. shouldn't our creator be more commonly displayed as loving, caring, empathetic, relational, etc? these images show distance. not to mention both are portrayed as white dudes. that's likely not accurate.

one of the bigger things i took from "the shack" was on the topic of ritual. i know for most of my life, christianity has been displayed as mainly that. following ritual. read your bible, pray (on your own and before & after meals), go to church weekly, etc. you probably know the drill. while, at points, this was driven home as a way to develop a relationship with god, jesus & the holy spirit, it never worked for me. as a result, i was constantly stuck in this rut of never feeling like i had a relationship with "the trinity" (a term i struggle with since it never appears in the bible), so i always thought i was a bad christian.

there's a point in the book where mack, the main character, is sitting & eating dinner with god, jesus & the holy spirit (try wrapping your brain around that one). instead of doing the normal devotions at the end of the meal, they go off and do some gardening as a way of developing relationship. i found that incredible. that reality that we find god in everything. not only creation, but our relationships with others, the blessings we have (both tangible and intangible), those moments of peace in the midst of a crazy day.

on a deeper level, this pointed to the grace god gives. that relationship with god does not have to be done in any specific way. what works for me and my personality type may not work for you and yours. that's the amazing thing. god relates to all personality types, no matter how you function.

Such Significance

I love how this photo conveys monumental dreams for all people but especially and specifically African-American young men. And whether or not you agree with Obama's politics, this photo is incredible at helping young African-American young men have something to hope for, to aspire to, and to be a role model. Very moving!

sands through the hour glass

as some of you may know, my grandpa passed away last tuesday...february 24th. the timing was a little weird, because that was the same day as julie's birthday. i was in a quarterly meeting at work when my parents called with the news. grandpa medendorp was my last surviving grandparent, so that adds to the sadness.

click here for grandpa's obituary

then do a search for "medendorp", or just scroll down.

as a side note, julie should be listed as julie o'neal in the obituary...not julie medendorp

we wore real clompen

it finally happened. something i have wanted to do for years, & a dream was realized. i was in the land of my ancestors. finally, i was in the netherlands! you've probably already read julie's post about the paris portion of our european vacation. i thought i would share about our trip to the netherlands. for me, one of the highlights was definitely our trip to see the amsterdam ajax, one of the top 3 football (i.e. soccer) clubs in the netherlands. we had a tour of the stadium prior to the match, which included a visit to the pitch (soccer field). that's me, ecstatic, on ajax's pitch. we also saw the press room and the practice field for the team during the tour. the game couldn't have turned out better. ajax won, 2-0, against nec nijmegan off goals from klaas-jan huntelaar & luis suarez.

we also took a day-trip to volendam, a fishing village outside amsterdam. we saw how they still make clompen (wooden shoes), we sampled some cheese, & wandered on the shore of the Ijselmeer. i realized why so many dutch people settled in the midwest. the climate & landscape are very similar to that of the netherlands. we also saw many very round cows & sheep. our trip also included visits to several museums. the rijksmuseum and the anne frank house proved to be wonderfully interesting. but the best was the van gogh museum. which, of course, focused on vincent van gogh.

van gogh's story proved to be quite interesting to julie & i. we saw some parallels between his life and mine, which i will get to in a moment. van gogh started his painting career painting in a very traditional dutch manner. still life paintings using a lot of dark colors, which create a melancholy & somewhat depressing mood. he then moved to paris & realized that he needed to paint in brighter colors, hence paintings like "starry night" and "sunflowers".

the part of his story that i found i related to was that he struggled with his father over his religious beliefs. his father was a pastor & believed the bible to be the only source in which you could be inspired by god. van gogh disagreed with this, & found inspiration from his creator in books other than the bible. it was this struggle that led to the painting of the crumbling church, known as "the peasant's churchyard". for van gogh, this represented the disintegrating influence of christianity. van gogh said something interesting regarding this in a letter to his brother about the painting, “Les religions passent, Dieu demeure” [Religions pass away, God remains]."

i found that i related to this because my parents & i clash on our beliefs. i don't believe, as they do, that the bible is the inerrant word of god. which is why when i see someone quoting scripture as a method of proving something as absolute, my 1st thought is, "so?". for me, it's the story of our fellow christian brothers & sisters and their struggles as they marched through history, as well as how they connected with their god and what that relationship meant to them.

needless to say, our trip to paris & amsterdam was amazing. we created some wonderful memories, learned more about each other, & saw some wonderful sights. we definitely hope to go again.

...rather be forgotten...

i'm in the midst of doing my bi-weekly radio show, when "summerholidays vs punkroutine" by refused starts to play. (thanks, spence, for introducing me to it.) it's one of my favorite tunes off their album "the shape of punk to come...", which is why i chose to play it.

the chorus to this song goes "i'd rather be forgotten, than remembered for giving in". and i think to myself, isn't that what real integrity is? truely holding on to your beliefs, your values, what you stand for, what you say, the promises you make. even to the point of preferring to be just another piece of sand on the beach than being known as the one who played benedict arnold to your value system.

it's a tall, tough order. it's something i'm struggling with. after living for 31 years as a bachelor and being able to wait to make decisions until the last minute, i now need to take julie into consideration in those decisions. not just about what we do on a given evening, but things that affect our jobs, meals, chores, how our individual value systems reflect on us as a couple, etc. it comes down to honestly being who you are. it's deeper & more layered than i originally fathomed.

so as julie & i travel through this new journey in our lives, i pray for strength to stand up & be the man God put me on this planet to be.

P.S. > it's awesome when music inpires you
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Now playing: Refused - Summerholidays Vs. Punkroutine
via FoxyTunes

yes, it's 2008 & it still exists

1st, i just want to say "amen" to julie's "zimbabwe" post. it breaks my heart when i read/hear about events like that. forcing people to choose between voting and eating? how little we americans really understand about the varied cultures around this planet.

on to what i came to write about.

last monday was our friend chad's birthday. so julie & i, along with chad's roommate jonathan, met for ice cream. we arrived just before the store closed, so we sat outside to enjoy our tasty treats. as we chatted about various topics, we noticed people would go to the door, notice the store was closed, and walk away. 2 particular instances of this caught our eyes. the 1st one involved a family of 5 as they walked up, looked in the establishment to confirm it was closed, and walk away. about 10 minutes later, this same situation happened with a high school couple. this time, the employees of the store unlocked the door for them & let them in.

what's the difference between these 2 occurrences? the family of 5 was of Mid-Eastern descent, while the high school couple was Caucasian. this left us nothing shy of shocked at this display of racism. the only consolation that i can think of is at least the family of 5 didn't see this sudden change in ice cream availability due to skin color. it scares me to think that we were tho only ones who noticed what happened. racism is not only a black/white thing, it exists between any 2 ethnicities, and all of it needs to stop. i simply hope that this event opens at least my eyes more to how i treat people who are not like me.

the never-ending saga (seemingly)

as i'm sure a lot of you know, i am in the midst of a rather lengthy job search. in some ways, it seems like this process has lasted years, and i'm not sure when (if ever) it will end.

i had a new development this week. but first, a bit of background. for the past 6 months or so, i've been attending a career networking group that has helped me learn new & more effective ways to find a job/career. at one of these meetings within the past few weeks, i met a recruiter. long story short, she found a potential new job for me. on paper, it seems promising. the pay & benefits would be better than what i have now, and they are willing to promise me a management position by the end of the year. it's still within the administrative side of healthcare, which is where all of my job experience comes from over the past few years. it's not my "dream job" of something within the music industry (although i wonder about that too...but that's a whole other blog).

the problem? i have this gut feeling that i shouldn't take it. and it's a feeling that i simply cannot shake. i feel it in my heart and my stomach, if that makes sense to you. i can't rationalize it away, and i can't ignore it. has this ever happened to you? it's frustrating, because logically i should take it. but my emotions are screaming "NO!" how do you handle this? do my emotions know something my conscious brain hasn't noticed?

i've been struggling with this since Tuesday, and I've tried telling the recruiter I won't take it, but she keeps selling me on it. side note: she will make a rather nice chunk of change if i accept the job. and, due to my 1) innate desire to be accepted & friendly to everyone and 2) struggles with saying "no" in those situations, i have told the recruiter i will ponder this until next Tuesday (just after Memorial Day). i am slowly realizing that it's more important for me to pay attention to my gut feeling rather than what has been laid before me in black & white.

in the meantime, i do have a decent, steady job that helps us pay the bills. thankfully, julie is not the type of person who is willing to let me settle for whatever decent offer pops up first for me. i'm grateful she is willing to bear with me through this process, and help me learn how to deal/process/think through these types of situations in general.

brian

05/27/2007

>>>>UPDATE<<<<

for those who are curious, i did (officially) turn the job down. your continued prayers, support etc as i continue to search are greatly appreciated. mucho thanks!