The title of our blog has 2 meanings. One refers to living a simple, laid-back, casual lifestyle. The 2nd meaning refers to the "P" and "J" on the Myers Briggs Personality Profile. Julie is a "j", or a "judger", while Brian is a "p", or a "perceiver". This dynamic leads to colorful conversation between the two of us.
Now I realize that this post is about 22 days past due... But I wanted to celebrate the achievement of the AZ Cardinals on getting to the Super Bowl 43 in Tampa, FL.
Here are some great moments from the homecoming festivities in AZ after the Superbowl. There were reports that the players were taking photos of the crowd upon return because it too was a special moment for them. They felt that they let AZ down and certainly played their hearts out. Also, is a before and after photo of Brian and I when we courageously viewed the game at a house full of Pittsburg fans.
Photos courtesy of The Arizona Republic's Tom Tingle and Nick Oza.
Writing has always been therapeutic for me, especially with deep or painful issues, but for some reason tonight, as I struggled with an on-going issue, a song actually captured my anger, frustration, sadness, and... well, anger really. It's a song by the Dixie Chicks and it's called "Not Ready to Make Nice." Here are the lyrics:
"Not Ready To Make Nice"
Forgive, sounds good Forget, I’m not sure I could They say time heals everything But I’m still waiting
I’m through with doubt There’s nothing left for me to figure out I’ve paid a price And I’ll keep paying
I’m not ready to make nice I’m not ready to back down I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time to go round and round and round It’s too late to make it right I probably wouldn’t if I could ‘Cause I’m mad as hell Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I know you said Can’t you just get over it It turned my whole world around And I kind of like it
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’ It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger And how in the world can the words that I said Send somebody so over the edge That they’d write me a letter Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing Or my life will be over
I’m not ready to make nice I’m not ready to back down I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time to go round and round and round It’s too late to make it right I probably wouldn’t if I could ‘Cause I’m mad as hell Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I’m not ready to make nice I’m not ready to back down I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time to go round and round and round It’s too late to make it right I probably wouldn’t if I could ‘Cause I’m mad as hell Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
What it is you think I should
Forgive, sounds good Forget, I’m not sure I could They say time heals everything But I’m still waiting
Courtesy of AZ Lyrics (http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/dixiechicks/notreadytomakenice.html) And here's the video when they performed at the Grammys:
There are many phrases that stick out to me... "I've paid a price" and "Mad as hell". Now those don't sound like lyrics that a nice Christian girl should be listening to. Well, frankly, I feel that anger isjust as healthy an emotion as any other and please, take a walk in my shoes before passing judgment on me.
But another thing that this has stirred up is that for a long time, I, as a woman of color, as a young person, as an Asian American, have often been told things that encourage me to discredit or diminish the pissed-off-ness that comes from racism, from prejudice, from ignorance.
No one can truly know what it's like and so especially phrases like "oh they didn't mean anything by it", "you just need to stop being so sensitive", "you just need to get over it", really don't help, and just piss me off even more.
And so now, I need time to understand why it's so hard for people to talk about this issue and why people are so damn ignorant and racist. I know I'm supposed to enter into the conversation and continue to go back to try to do the more noble and just thing. But sometimes it sucks being the only one who goes back. It sucks when no one else is doing it and I have to be the one or else it doesn't get talked about, doesn't get noticed, gets ignored.
Well as long as you continue to ignore it, I will continue to be the thorn in your side. I know wholeness and reconciliation and all of that stuff is nice. It will help me heal. But, I don't know if I can get to the point to where I need to make nice before you will hear me. I've done that for too long. I've put up with stupid people for too long. I'm done. Sorry if you think you deserve a chance - someone else took your chance with them and they chose not to do anything with it.
(Yes, thank you for enduring my seemingly endless, obscure, and vague rant. I am just needing this as a forum right now...)
"calloused hands stroke the piano keys notes sadly caress the darkened air as glasses tinkle and people chatter eyes brimming with tears as the song remembers memories, dripping with the iciness of youth days forgotten and forever cherished slowly melodically the hands play aching for the next note, recoiling from it's sound as candles drip in their own agony giving, but receiving nothing in return the chords change, b-flat to a-minor the lilting of gentle laughter over the din of the crowd hands glide, effortlessly float with the ache... of what could have been leaving behind notes never played"
i wrote this poem a few years ago. let me know what you think.
the painting is called "piano bar" by italian painter alberto sughi
i have a couple different thoughts going through my head as we head toward the inauguration of our 44th president. one can be summed up in the simple word of "excitement". it's the 1st time in my life i am actually excited about our new president. i don't know if you voted for him, or if you agree with him, or if even now you haven't figured that out. but i know i am looking forward to january 20th, 2009 when president-elect barack obama becomes president barack obama.
i wonder where he will lead this country in the next 4 years. i wonder what changes he will bring about that will strengthen our economy. i wonder how his example and leadership will help erase some of the racist mentalities that exist not only here in the states, but internationally. i wonder what kinds of things he and soon-to-be 1st lady michelle obama's daughters will glean from experiencing this unique event. i hope they come out of it as strong world leaders in their own rights.
all of this wondering is laced with a sense of joy. that we may see some new unique things from this young president. this president who not only knows about new technologies, but uses them extremely well.
the other thought i have revolves around feeling conflicted. conflicted in the sense that, although prez-elect obama did succeed, that our country still has a lot of issues it needs to work through. as i type this, nashville is 8 days away from voting on it's "english-only referendum". a referendum, that if approved by voters on january 22, will make it completely legal for all government documents, proceedings, etc to be done in english only. to put it simply, i'm not a fan of this. it's another step toward negating the many cultures, ethnicities and backgrounds that exist in nashville. it's also a referendum that seems to be aimed at the "inconvenience" of the average english-speaker of having to "work through" the non-english portions of documents, etc. the united states exists because people came here from other countries to live and breathe together, to find their dreams. these referendums go against that. and yet we have voted in a president who is the embodiment of all of that, the diversity that this country needs to embrace even more.
"American Idol" is a television show. First and foremost. It's bigger than any contestant. It's glorified karaoke at best."
i was reading Bob Lefsetz' response to last night's "american idol", and that's a line that stuck out for me. i'm sure, if you didn't watch it yourself, you've seen the news bits about the girl in the bikini who popped in and made it to the next round. could she sing? sure, she was ok. she won't make it much further than round 2, though. she's basing too much on her appearance, and i think what the 4 judges on american idol are looking for is more than just looks...they're looking for the complete package. between the talent last night in phoenix, tonight's in kansas city, and the other cities, she's done.
but in a way she's a microcosm of what this show is to many people. it's a way to get (at least) your 15 minutes of fame if you put yourself in the right circumstances. which is what she did. it's a method for people to get attention, and in a very superficial way, validate their existence. i'm sure you've seen some of the reactions from people when simon, paula & the other judges are blatantly honest with some of the contestants over their lack of talent. it's when you see who really are the drama queens and spoiled brats. the impression these people leave is that their entire existence is based on the opinions of these (now) 4 people they have never met before and never will run into again. it's easy for us, on our own, to believe we are better at something than we really are. especially when our family & friends are not honest with us.
"american idol", especially in the early stages, is incredibly entertaining to watch. i feel empathy for the people who are truly trying to sing well and have practiced but are shot down because that "it" factor isn't there. for me, there is nothing more beautiful than a musician who performs with talent and from the heart. it moves me. and i couldn't help but laugh at some of the other people who, it seems, had never really heard themselves sing.
i can't help but think, as we wade through this new era in music where there will not be any true superstars, what some of the contestants think the long-term outlook is for them if they did make it.
i'm killing a little time watching "good will hunting", and putzing around on the interwebs utilizing stumbleupon, which brought me to jardmail.co.uk. that's the website that gifted me with the following Top 10 List, Dave Letterman-style.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH:
1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them. 2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer. 3. a) You can legally kill yourself, b) You can legally be killed 4. You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you. 5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen is your capital. 6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition. 7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country 8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours. 9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans. 10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.
in light of the trip julie & i recently took to amsterdam, i found it funny. hope you enjoy, too. oh, and the website above has Top 10 lists for a bunch of other european countries.
Julie and Brian were married in Phoenix, AZ on November 3, 2007. She was born in Seoul, South Korea and adopted by her parents when she was 8 months old. She was raised in and around Phoenix, AZ. She went to Arizona State University, and after graduating from there, attended seminary at Saint Paul School of Theology in Kansas City, MO. Brian was born in Kalamazoo, MI and lived there until going off to college at Central Michigan University. During his final semester there, he did an internship at a record label in Nashville. So, after graduating from CMU, he stayed in Nashville. In August 2009, we moved to Phoenix.
