as i'm sure a lot of you know, i am in the midst of a rather lengthy job search. in some ways, it seems like this process has lasted years, and i'm not sure when (if ever) it will end.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
i had a new development this week. but first, a bit of background. for the past 6 months or so, i've been attending a career networking group that has helped me learn new & more effective ways to find a job/career. at one of these meetings within the past few weeks, i met a recruiter. long story short, she found a potential new job for me. on paper, it seems promising. the pay & benefits would be better than what i have now, and they are willing to promise me a management position by the end of the year. it's still within the administrative side of healthcare, which is where all of my job experience comes from over the past few years. it's not my "dream job" of something within the music industry (although i wonder about that too...but that's a whole other blog).
the problem? i have this gut feeling that i shouldn't take it. and it's a feeling that i simply cannot shake. i feel it in my heart and my stomach, if that makes sense to you. i can't rationalize it away, and i can't ignore it. has this ever happened to you? it's frustrating, because logically i should take it. but my emotions are screaming "NO!" how do you handle this? do my emotions know something my conscious brain hasn't noticed?
i've been struggling with this since Tuesday, and I've tried telling the recruiter I won't take it, but she keeps selling me on it. side note: she will make a rather nice chunk of change if i accept the job. and, due to my 1) innate desire to be accepted & friendly to everyone and 2) struggles with saying "no" in those situations, i have told the recruiter i will ponder this until next Tuesday (just after Memorial Day). i am slowly realizing that it's more important for me to pay attention to my gut feeling rather than what has been laid before me in black & white.
in the meantime, i do have a decent, steady job that helps us pay the bills. thankfully, julie is not the type of person who is willing to let me settle for whatever decent offer pops up first for me. i'm grateful she is willing to bear with me through this process, and help me learn how to deal/process/think through these types of situations in general.
for those who are curious, i did (officially) turn the job down. your continued prayers, support etc as i continue to search are greatly appreciated. mucho thanks!