Thursday, May 22, 2008

the never-ending saga (seemingly)

as i'm sure a lot of you know, i am in the midst of a rather lengthy job search. in some ways, it seems like this process has lasted years, and i'm not sure when (if ever) it will end.

i had a new development this week. but first, a bit of background. for the past 6 months or so, i've been attending a career networking group that has helped me learn new & more effective ways to find a job/career. at one of these meetings within the past few weeks, i met a recruiter. long story short, she found a potential new job for me. on paper, it seems promising. the pay & benefits would be better than what i have now, and they are willing to promise me a management position by the end of the year. it's still within the administrative side of healthcare, which is where all of my job experience comes from over the past few years. it's not my "dream job" of something within the music industry (although i wonder about that too...but that's a whole other blog).

the problem? i have this gut feeling that i shouldn't take it. and it's a feeling that i simply cannot shake. i feel it in my heart and my stomach, if that makes sense to you. i can't rationalize it away, and i can't ignore it. has this ever happened to you? it's frustrating, because logically i should take it. but my emotions are screaming "NO!" how do you handle this? do my emotions know something my conscious brain hasn't noticed?

i've been struggling with this since Tuesday, and I've tried telling the recruiter I won't take it, but she keeps selling me on it. side note: she will make a rather nice chunk of change if i accept the job. and, due to my 1) innate desire to be accepted & friendly to everyone and 2) struggles with saying "no" in those situations, i have told the recruiter i will ponder this until next Tuesday (just after Memorial Day). i am slowly realizing that it's more important for me to pay attention to my gut feeling rather than what has been laid before me in black & white.

in the meantime, i do have a decent, steady job that helps us pay the bills. thankfully, julie is not the type of person who is willing to let me settle for whatever decent offer pops up first for me. i'm grateful she is willing to bear with me through this process, and help me learn how to deal/process/think through these types of situations in general.

for those who are curious, i did (officially) turn the job down. your continued prayers, support etc as i continue to search are greatly appreciated. mucho thanks!


Ted & Shana said...

Maybe you have a stomach bug or something??? Could explain your gut feeling?? Hey..and ya know..guts have feelings too!!:o)
hee hee Prayin' bro!

Karl Fehn said...

Well, I know how your feeling and it is not an easy feeling. Prayer, lots of prayer, God can help in these matter, and I know you know this. If in the end you still have that gut feeling that says "NO!!!!!!!!",then I would go with your gut. On the other hand, I have been reading this book lately called "To Walk On Water, You Need To Get Out Of The Boat", great book, and it encourages you to look for opportunities that God gives that will allow you to take a leap of faith (getting out of the boat). So I guess I can see a point for both sides here so I might not have the advice you are looking for (take it, just take it!!!!!!!!!!, OR NO, NO, NO, don't do it!!!!!!!!. So, I guess my real suggestion is pray, pray and pray some more. No matter what happens, God has Big plans for you B, and His plans are always better then our plans. So, lift your head up, smile big and know God is in control and know that no matter which way you turn, God is always with you! The saga will end one day. God Bless and talk to you later B!

erin said...

it is always my experience that He seems to be leading us to step out for Him and out of our box. gut feelings usually mean something...specially if it sticks with you. I always find the things He's leading to do never make sense to me on paper. perhaps cause i can only see what's right in front of me or how it is only affecting me and the small bubble around me. stick with what you know. your faith is good.