Silence

Today I need silence.  I need space to think, to turn away distraction, to ponder and reflect.  I need silence to help me converse with God.  I need silence to LISTEN to God.  And it's kind of ironic because last night I heard the song by John Mayer titled "Say".  I have heard the song several times prior to hearing it last night but for some reason it seemed to speak to me in a different way, in a deeper way.  The song goes as such:

Take all of your wasted honor.

Every little past frustration.

Take all of your so called problems,

Better put 'em in quotations.

Say what you need to say (x8)

Walkin' like a one man army,

Fightin' with the shadows in your head.

Livin' up the same old moment

Knowin' you'd be better off instead.

If you could only... Say what you need to say (x8)

Have no fear for givin' in.

Have no fear for giving over.

You better know that in the end

It's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again.

Even if your hands are shaking,

And your faith is broken.

Even as the eyes are closin',

Do it with a heart wide open.

(Wide Heart)

Say what you need to say (x7)

Say what you need to, say what you need to...

Say what you need to say.

(lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com)

So as I sit in the silence, my heart is compelled.  I must say what I need to say.

early morning thoughts

i'm getting into this habit of waking up an hour early 3 days out of the week to exercise. why? because i'm realizing (based mainly on some of our pics from Hawaii) that i really need to lose weight. so that's what i did this morning. i woke up bright & chipper (please include some tongue in cheek in that one) at 5:15 am and headed to the fitness center in our apartment complex.

while i'm on the treadmill, listening to tunes on my iPod, i'm also watching MTV2 (with the sound off). i watched some show that seemed to have a focus of premiering new music videos. this one was for a new song by LL Cool J. after the video was done, they went to 3 people who started commenting about something. presumably the video. i have no idea what they were talking about because, again, the sound was off. 1 of the 3 commentators was The Game. If you don't know who he is, he is a rapper known for his hits like "how we do" and "westside story". during this commentary, he was also wearing this shirt from the demockratees website.

seeing the shirt made me think. partially because the guy who started the demockratees site is a native american who is fighting against all that holds native americans back. that then made me start thinking about the many facets of racism and how it affects so many aspects of our lives.

i remembered my social studies teacher in 9th grade. he was african-american, and i wonder how he felt teaching from a book that was most likely edited & written by caucasians, which then only reflected their viewpoint of history. although maybe i should say "our" viewpoint since i am caucasian as well. i just don't agree with that viewpoint anymore. one example i thought of is the teaching of christopher columbus as a hero. in reality he's closer to jeffrey dahmer than a great discoverer. not only did he never actually touch north america, but when he was in central america he stole from, murdered & raped the indigenous people there for his own selfish gain. i don't think that's someone we should honor with a national holiday. at best, he should be forgotten.

Political Cartoon

I would like to talk a bit about this week's New Yorker.  The image here is obviously a jab at Barack and Michelle Obama.  But instead of sharing some of my thoughts, I'd like to point you in the direction of two former seminary colleagues of mine, Adam and Andy, who seem to have summed up my thoughts in their posts. I invite you to hear their arguments and share your thoughts as to the appropriateness of this cover.

Hawaii

... was GREAT! Brian and I had a fabulous time. Yes, we did some of the tourist-ey stuff but the best part was getting to know many tongan and samoan young adults. They live in a dualistic world; one of ipods and "normal" clothes and another of rich culture and heritage and a completely different language. One experience we had was that we had never been to a luau in a gym and we had never been to a luau where we knew most of the dancers. It was amazing! Such talent and gifts. Many of the young adults are so "on-fire" with God. The young adults in the Hawaii district will remain close to my heart.

...rather be forgotten...

i'm in the midst of doing my bi-weekly radio show, when "summerholidays vs punkroutine" by refused starts to play. (thanks, spence, for introducing me to it.) it's one of my favorite tunes off their album "the shape of punk to come...", which is why i chose to play it.

the chorus to this song goes "i'd rather be forgotten, than remembered for giving in". and i think to myself, isn't that what real integrity is? truely holding on to your beliefs, your values, what you stand for, what you say, the promises you make. even to the point of preferring to be just another piece of sand on the beach than being known as the one who played benedict arnold to your value system.

it's a tall, tough order. it's something i'm struggling with. after living for 31 years as a bachelor and being able to wait to make decisions until the last minute, i now need to take julie into consideration in those decisions. not just about what we do on a given evening, but things that affect our jobs, meals, chores, how our individual value systems reflect on us as a couple, etc. it comes down to honestly being who you are. it's deeper & more layered than i originally fathomed.

so as julie & i travel through this new journey in our lives, i pray for strength to stand up & be the man God put me on this planet to be.

P.S. > it's awesome when music inpires you
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Now playing: Refused - Summerholidays Vs. Punkroutine
via FoxyTunes

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yes, it's 2008 & it still exists

1st, i just want to say "amen" to julie's "zimbabwe" post. it breaks my heart when i read/hear about events like that. forcing people to choose between voting and eating? how little we americans really understand about the varied cultures around this planet.

on to what i came to write about.

last monday was our friend chad's birthday. so julie & i, along with chad's roommate jonathan, met for ice cream. we arrived just before the store closed, so we sat outside to enjoy our tasty treats. as we chatted about various topics, we noticed people would go to the door, notice the store was closed, and walk away. 2 particular instances of this caught our eyes. the 1st one involved a family of 5 as they walked up, looked in the establishment to confirm it was closed, and walk away. about 10 minutes later, this same situation happened with a high school couple. this time, the employees of the store unlocked the door for them & let them in.

what's the difference between these 2 occurrences? the family of 5 was of Mid-Eastern descent, while the high school couple was Caucasian. this left us nothing shy of shocked at this display of racism. the only consolation that i can think of is at least the family of 5 didn't see this sudden change in ice cream availability due to skin color. it scares me to think that we were tho only ones who noticed what happened. racism is not only a black/white thing, it exists between any 2 ethnicities, and all of it needs to stop. i simply hope that this event opens at least my eyes more to how i treat people who are not like me.